Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Happy to Release A FREE AUDIO BOOK for Those who Don't Read.

     


     I'm thrilled that today is the release date Audio Book version of Joe the Salamander. especially for all those who have said "I don't read books, I listen to them." I hope you enjoy it, I'm proud of it and it was a #1 Bestseller upon release in various categories. 

When you click the link it appears they hide the cost. You can do the 3 free month membership at  Unlimited Audible, and Joe is free, but if you scroll down, you can find the one-time purchase at around $18. NOTE THE GRAPHIC. 

Of course, if paperback or Kindle is your thing, it's really inexpensive in those forms as well, as it's been around for about a year and a half.








Saturday, January 27, 2024

The Great Covid Sofa. TV and Movie reviews.

 For the first time last week I had Covid. I've avoided for four years, took every precaution yet still lived my life from 2020 to now.

I, even, in the pre-vaccination period (you remember: six feet apart, one-way supermarket aisles, anti-bacterial spraying the ATM but also everything else... yes those things) sprayed someone with hospital grade spray. Here's the story. A friend worked at an animal hospital and thinking we were in pre-apocalypse status gave me the hard-core product. At the market when someone repeatedly didn't get out of my space after several requests then warnings I took the spray bottle I had hung on the push bar of my shopping cart and sprayed that person. I wasn't proud but it was 2020. I stayed safe! This post is about TV/movie reviews and not my becoming unhinged, so here goes.

So what I've watched this week and some of my takeaways.



FARGO SEASON FIVE: I don't know about you but someone like Ole Munch shows up anywhere in the universe, he is evaluated and placed in long term psych hospitalization care. I don't care if he's immortal or not, there are some red flags. Just his babbling alone---why did people put up with it? NOT even one said, "What the fuck are you saying?" You think that would happen at least once.


HOUSE: I never watched it when it was on. How times have changed. Fargo's Sheriff Tillman's misogyny meant bad, awful, terrible guy. Dr. House's meant quirky good guy. Damn you, Woke Nation. Anyway, this is an obvious pre-streaming show, and the spoiler is, I can tell you every plot of every episode.

  1. Introduce character that drops nearly dead in first five minutes.

  2. House's staff have theories that are always wrong because....

  3. Dr. House has outrageous diagnostic and treatment number 1.

  4. House argues with Dr. Cuddy.

  5. Patient seizes every episode when treatment 1 doesn't work.

  6. Dr. House meets someone quirky and placed in show for humor in the Clinic.

  7. Dr. House has an epiphany for an new rare/outrageous treatment 2 after dealing with same quirky character placed in the episode.

  8. Treatment works, because if it didn't the patient will die.

  9. House's staff are fine with being wrong every episode because House is always right.

  10. Dr. Cuddy says something to House with tail between her legs.

  11. Nearly dead X 2 patient walks or rolls out of hospital accompanied by House and/or House's staff.

  12. Roll credits.




20/20: The perfect sick show. You can dose off at any point and go in and out of consciousness and they review the entire episode before and after every break. You don't miss anything. Also, good show for Memory Care Units for the same reason.


Silver Linings Playbook: Perfect sick movie since I've seen it three times before---figured I can dose in and out of this one too. Problem was I got involved and didn't sleep.



Better Call Saul, Season Six, and only Season Six: Great rewatch. Still a bit weak of Saul to just give up at the end? Did it prove he can change, because that's not his character. Also this is a better written show than the great Breaking Bad. There, I said it. 


One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: How is McMurphy locked up and Ole Munch out and about in the Midwest killing people? WT freaking F.




The Midnight Sky: I took a bad week to go off my anti-depressants and watch this one.  Good movie but is there any hope? This dystopian film is summed up by George Clooney's characters' quote. He was perhaps the last living human on earth, after "the event" telling those still up in a space ship who can't land on the failing, uninhabitable planet, "We didn't do a very good job of looking after the place while you were away." The thought, "Covid killing me isn't this bad," crossed my mind. 

Thursday, January 4, 2024

It's 2024 and I still have opinions. Feel free to have your own about David Portnoy.


I ran into this review of a pizza place from the many rabbit holes I jump into via the internet. Let me open by saying I’m all for reviews, and also reviews which are negative---not everyone gets a trophy.

What I am not for is douchebags. Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy comes off as a douchebag in this clip especially since he was so psyched that it went viral. He is so excited that the clip was named “Best of 2023” by his own website. He is very proud of how this went down.

Let’s start with my own review of douchebags, and how to argue like one. Beginning with how Portnoy changes his pizza review from bad to horrible after the interaction with the shop owner, Charlie Redd. “Now, I can say this pizza is trash,” he says afterwards their exchange. That’s like a writer taking someone’s parking spot and that driver goes on Amazon and leaves a bad review. You don’t get to do that. Bad reviews are earned. So, that is a total douche move.

Redd wasn’t on his best behavior either. When you get a bad review you really should let it slide. Redd started out just fine in his defense, basically saying, “Enjoy the pizza, you shouldn’t judge it based on one bite, and I don’t appreciate what you do to small businesses.” Portnoy’s response is how he actually helps so many small businesses, as he is trashing this one. Now this is like a racist defending himself that he can’t be a racist because he has a lot of black friends. By the way Portnoy has had to defend himself from being accused of being a racist and misogynist, but that wasn’t my original point. That’s just a side note.

Honestly, I’m not picking sides, but I will admit I was jaded right from the start of the video when Portnoy in a rather privileged way directed to his camera man to get a shot of The Buffalo Exchange where he bought his 1985 Frat-boy Hawaiian shirt. It's not the first "I am better than you," moment in this video, but it set the tone.

All in all, the video shows Amerika at its most Karen-esque “finest”. The entire I can stand here and be an asshole because it’s public street…falls into the “I have my rights to do whatever the fuck I want,” rhetoric. Portnoy shows a real ugly side, as (seen on video) his fans fawn over him during and after (with edits obviously added.) I certainly understand how this works, while at the same time certainly don’t understand. I still don’t understand the Trump phenomena, and this is just a small shadow on that big highway, but it is reflective of society as a whole. When Redd brings up a particularly unflattering New York Times article about Portnoy, his response, “Oh, there you go. THERE YOU GO,” before attempting an insult on how Redd looks, (fat) is also telling. Having no accountability for behavior and becoming the victim because instead, is also right in line with ugly post-modern American behavior. Then the final defense from Portnoy…that he is rich. "Sold for a million, bought back for a dollar," is actually really good business. In fact, it is great great buisness. Good for him! Hurray! Here's where it's off topic: To use it as point in an argument is very douchey. “I have more money than you so STFU?” Is that the point here? My guess is the argumentative point is a more general, “I am better than you.” Of course, it is, especially when he states, “You’re posting me buddy,” when Redd films him, as Redd in his eyes is just a tiny little speck in the great big world of he and Barstool Sports.


In another article, since I'm down the hole, Barstool Sports tells all of us how to do dry January, and it involves not being dry at all! Yippee, you can drink AND give up alcohol at the same time. Man, I’ve wasted my time being sober and not drinking, when I could have been drinking this entire time.


Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Coming Soon (ish) on Audible, Spotify, and Apple Audio Books, Joe the Salamander. ORIGINAL AUDITION HERE

Coming Soon on Audible, Spotify, and Apple Audio Books

Joe the Salamander, currently in production

Produced and voiced by Shannon Clare McDermott​: 

Actor. Voiceover. Author. Singer. Autistic Self-Advocate

Below is the audition sample.

UPDATE: Released 2.13.2024





and also COMING  in 2024, Grand Slams: The Coming of Eggs Story, and The Thursday Appointments of Bill Sloan.

Monday, January 1, 2024

Reading/podcast Appearances, 2024





Sun, January 21, 2024, 2 PM EST, Harvard, Ma.

New England Poetry Club Reading, Poetry at Fruitlands

Fruitlands Museum
102 Prospect Hills Farm.
Harvard, Ma

reading with Mary Buchinger, and John L. Hogerson

hosted by David Miller
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Thur, February 8, 2024, 7 PM EDT, Mansfield, Ma.

Pour Me a Poem Series

51 Park Street
Mansfield, Ma.

Featured Poet
Hosted by Sara Letourneau and Wayne-Daniel Berard



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Sat, February 10, 2024, 4 PM EDT, Essex, Ma.


SPECIAL MUSIC FEATURE, For Folk's Sake, featuring LISA HALEY

2ND SATURDAY OPEN MIC AT THE FIRST UNIVERSALIST CHURCH

59 Main Street
Essex, Ma.

Hosted by Alexandra Kirby

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Wed, February 28, 2024, 7:30 PM EDT, Lynn, Ma.

Speak Up at Walnut Street Cafe

Walnut Street Cafe
157 Walnut Street
Lynn, Ma.

Featured Poet
Hosted by "Call Dave" Somerset


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Tue, March 26, 2023, 7 PM EST, on Zoom


Tewksbury Writers Night Out, Tewksbury Writers Club

Chat about writing with Dale Phillips
on Zoom, contact me for link











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Thur, March 28, 2023, 6:30 PM EST, Needham, Ma

Sober in the Suburbs Event

Needham Public Library Series
1139 Highland Avenue, Needham, Ma

Reading/Discussion/Workshop with
Richard Hoffman, Jennifer Martelli, and Kimberly Kearns



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Thur, June 27, 2024, 7 PM EST, Southbridge, Ma.

reading at Poetorium Series

Starlite Bar and Gallery
39 Hamilton Street
Southbridge, Ma


Featured Poet

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Wed, July 10, 2024, 8:30 PM EDT, Lynn, Ma.

SPECIAL MUSIC FEATURE, For Folk's Sake, featuring LISA HALEY

Speak Up at Walnut Street Cafe

Walnut Street Cafe
157 Walnut Street,
Lynn, Ma

Hosted by "Call Dave" Somerset

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Thursday, December 28, 2023

HERE ARE THE TOP TEN MOST VIEWED BLOG POSTS FROM 2023 (and why you read them)


Also, many celebrities passed in 2023, and no one on your social media actually knew them. 
Anyway RIP, Bob Barker, I'll miss you. 



HERE ARE THE TOP TEN MOST VIEWED BLOG POSTS FROM 2023 

(and why you read them)

#1) FALL SCHEDULE, 2023 VIRTUAL THURSDAYS DIRE LITERARY SERIES (is it September already?)

Most likely read because Virtual Dire was a success in 2023, and people wanted to know who was next

#2) Thrilled to have a new poem in Live Nude Poems

Was it the word 'nude'? I think it was the word 'nude'. Plus, it was a pretty good poem! 

#3) Reading And Podcast Appearances 2023

Like the Monkees, I was coming to your town OR to your earbubs or auto

#4) Publishers Weekly's review arm Booklife gives Joe the Salamander high marks

A great review in PW. People read blog to see, in other peoples words, what's up with this Gager dude

#5) My Best Reading Ever: Audience Support Helps

Really great reading at Blue Bird Performance Center, so they listened to see what was up with this Gager dude
#6) Three Days Past My Birthday is 13 years….

My annual sober anniversary blog post annually makes the Top 10

#7) Spring and Summer 2023 Schedule, Virtual Thursdays Dire Literary Series, 7 PM EST
 
Really? See why by looking at #1. Fall won, Spring and Summer was seventh. 

#8) My poem, Dog Years, appears in Somerville Times newspaper today

Newspaper poem. People like dogs, poems with dogs, or dogs with or without poems

#9) 10 BY 10, Ten Flash Fictions by Ten Writers publishes my piece, "Dig 'Em" in their Anniversary Issue

Incorporating Dig Em the Frog into a flash fiction piece garners curiosity. 


#11) TODAY IS PUBLISHING DAY, I am very honored that Big Table SELECTED some of my best.

And whoopie, a NEW book was just less popular than Dig 'Em the Frog on blog post views, but very peopular in sales

                     This is the year for many of you!







Wednesday, December 27, 2023

2023, My Year in Publishing


BOOKS

Best Of Timothy Gager, Edited by Robin Stratton,, February, 2023, Big Table Publishing



SHORT and FLASH FICTION

"Fairytale of Dysfunction", November 25, 2023 Alien Buddha #57
"Wedding Guest"

"Labor Day at the Border Café ", October 12, 2023 10 BY 10, Issue 12

"Dig 'Em", June 6, 2023 10 BY 10, One Year Anniversary Issue

"Arpeggio", March 15, 2023 Molecule Vol. 8

"The Tinkerer", January 1, 2023 Blue Lake Review



POETRY

"Into The Silent Sea"
October 13, 2023 Live Nude Poems

"Recipe Stupid Men Cook To Capture Women"
August 17, 2023 Ibettson Street #53

"Dog Years"
May 31, 2023 Somerville Times: Lyrical Somerville




Also, the PODCAST APPEARANCES

I'm often asked to appear on podcasts, covering either recovery, writing, and this year a NDE podcast. Depending on the degree of caffeine, or mood, or ADD they can often spin off course---and Thank, God, for that. In 2023, The Oddball Foundation didn't run one of my appearances because I was too "off the cuff" about some of the work that appeared in their last issue. Just a guess though, it may have been because we talked on top and over each other. Sorry, my bad.


Often podcasts can be boring as eavesdropping on a boring conversation. I was lucky these were not. So...below are all of them from 2023, most are on Apple and Spotify besides the YouTube links, and because I cannot stop talking about what I talk about, a little review of each



1) Second Appearance on The Art of Being Dar  (click to watch/listen) 

Political, Funny (I think so), Chaotic, Writing, Recovery This one is pretty unabridged, and as Dar Dixon (amazing actor, look him up, guaranteed you've seen him before) puts it I was shot out of a cannon. Then there was technical difficulties and I came to earth, but Dar and I are always high energy and stream of consciousness is always in play.


2) Billy Dees Podcast: Perfect Media Productions (click to watch/ listen)

Writing, Recovery This one is a serious interview, but Billy Dees pre-interview is normal conversation, but when the podcast begins his voice becomes MR. RADIO. Ask me to do an impersonation (funny, I think so) please.


3) This Podcast will change your Life with Ben Tanzer (click to listen)

Writing, Recovery, Life, Funny (I think so) Another serious one, but Ben and I talk for over an hour, some of it about a reading we did together in Providence at a bar where they kicked us out to the patio.


4) W.W.A.A. podcast with Kristy Mickelsen (click to listen)

Mental Health, Writing, Recovery, Autism, Funny (I think so) Kristy is a good interviewing and I enjoyed talking about how Joe the Salamander, my novel with a ASD protagonist got off the ground.


5) Anna David's Podcast, On Good Authority (click to listen) 

Writing Groups, Love Fest How do you not love Anna David. Look her up too because she made a career in writing and publishing writers. Sound like nothing? Try it.


6) Externally Amy (click to listen)

Connection through recovery and writing Q-What has 8 kids and a podcast? A-Amy Harrison. We talk about connections and she is an expert at connecting with her guests.


7) Be the Light of Your Own Healing with Tricia Barker (click to watch/listen)

Near Death Experience I saw Tricia on TV talking about hers, and did a little research. She wrote a book, I had her on my series, and she returned the favor. Either way, I'm not too comfortable talking about my own NDE, because it can be viewed as Whack-A-Mole-Crazy, but whatever, I let it fly!