Three Days Past My Birthday is 13 years….

    So today, November 3, is my birthday, and as an alcoholic, I’m expecting a parade. Won’t happen, but for the past 10-13 or so years, I’ve found that my sober anniversary is a much bigger, more important and brings me much more joy. It marks the anniversary of a change of the better of me, something I am proud of, and something I feel good about when I help others. In three days, November 6, if I can get to three more midnights, I’ll celebrate 13 years of being sober. There will be others celebrating that with me, those who made the same decision I did, and found that their life really began at that point, rather than ended. Oh, and I will get a present---not the one I get every day by being sober, but the one below. I'm very excited to receive it! (Plus read the features of this thing! High Quality 3D Graphics, for example)

So in three days: November 6.

    If you follow me or read me, November 6 marked a decided milestone in my life. On that day in 2010 I stopped drinking, stopped using, became clean and sober, without ever having the need to go back to it. (Note: Need is different than want, and I may have thought that I wanted to, but when push came to shove I didn’t).

    I’ve thought about this and a lot of other things today, (because I tend to overthink), and concluding that stopping was not because of something associated with that particular birthday. Perhaps I was reflecting upon my life on that day (I tend to do that too) and it had some influence, but mostly, I stopped, was because my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I was settling for less, my emotions were all over the road, and my personal relationships were pretty non-existent. I was in rough shape physically and mentally. 

    I’ve written about this subject here in the past nearly every year and if you want more details go to the right side of this news/blog thing and open up entries from early November, 2010 and on. (Let me help you)

    Also, there in the search bar (look hard, it's small) if you plug in words, for example, sober, sobriety, alcohol etc., various entries will also come up. (Go ahead, stick your name in there too, to see if I wrote about you).

 

Mostly, three things stick out about how my life has changed. 

1) I am more even tempered, level-headed, and when there are issues I am able to walk through them. 

2) When my son was married in July, I was asked to speak. This never would have been asked because there was no way anyone could predict what would come out of my mouth. Also, at the wedding my new daughter in law stated, "When it comes to father-in-laws, I hit the jackpot." Yes, again, drunk Tim would have been described by other jackpots. 

3) And most important. Four years ago, almost to the day, my mother would jump straight from a cancer treatment appointment to hospice care. Because of my sobriety I was in a) good standing in my job. b) had enough sick, and vacation days accrued and c) was able to be with her almost every day until she passed. What a gift!

 

 

The World is Nine Days Into Dry January

   

   Dry January may be very hard. Trying to stop even one day is very hard. Trying to do it by yourself even harder. The inability to stop on one's own is the reason that there are programs were groups can help encourage and support. I will be happy to talk to anyone or anyone you know if they are willing to talk to me---ANYONE, no matter what. Feel free to contact me. 

  If you are participating in Dry January, good for you---you are probably feeling better even after this amount of days (this link will tell you why)! Attempting this doesn't mean you are admitting to any problem, but it does mean you want to change things up, or resent your relationship from alcohol and drugs. From personal experience, Dry January meant a few things, but I had a few signposts that it was a good idea the rest of the year. 

You many need a Dry Post-January if:

1) You went hog wild New Year's Eve, and are planning to go hog wild on Feburary 1. 

2) You particularly pick romantic partners for the potential to drink/use with them, thus normalizing your own drinking. A social drinker in a relationship may, and will have something to say to you about yours. 

3) You pick events and locations you can drink at, and if you can't drink at them you SYO (sneak your own). You also have weird traditions, with silly names for non-social drinking. 

4) You always buy nips at the liquor store so you have something to drink on the way home, or if you are looking to hide it. 

5) You've lost a lot of friends, either directly from something you've done, or indirectly....people are just sick of your relationship with booze.  

6) You wake up feeling crappy and are angry that it happened again. 

7) You wake up exhausted because you thought you might, for once, get home early enough to get enough rest. 

8) "Just one" becomes the same old amount. 

9) Night time drinking at home used to start at dinner, and the time seems to be creeping up. earlier, and earlier. 

10) You have to monitor your own consumption.

11) You wish bad things would just stop happening related to your use, but you don't wish to stop.  

12)  It's January 9th and you are either pissed, concerned, or don't give a shit, that you couldn't do it. 

13) You are in bad health, need to stop and cannot. 

     

 If you identify with any of these, no problem, just objectively look at things, there are still 22 more days in January. 

      

  

Throwing it out there: I confess about drinking in The Drinking Diaries.

The Drinking Diaries is a fantastic blog, about women and drinking, with very strong writing and writers. It's neither for or against drinking. If drinking works for people, good for them. It doesn't work for
everyone. This blog reflects that. Every Monday they invite men to share a story, an episode, or an experience that involves women and drinking. Here is mine.