Companion piece for reading along with Almost Bluing for X-tra Whiteness (easter eggs noted)

 After I talked with Eliz McKim about my new poetry book Almost Bluing for X-tra Whiteness she was amused at some of the references, but most of them were obscure Easter Eggs, so allow me to fill in some of the blanks. Below is the Table of Contents and a comment, video or link for each one. When you read the book, read the part of the blog before each of the poems.

 So let's start with poem 1, page 9

I Didn’t want to call the 988 Operator Using the movie Don't Look Up as metaphor. There is even a line in the poem about the broteroc mentioned in the trailer below. 

I wished myself extinct / like that bronteroc,

Dependents 

What Cannot Be Fixed 

 After You Go 

 Dogged Years 

These  four are poems about my late MOTHER and FATHER

The next eight (8) are poems about a relationship ending. Comments withheld. 

Labor Day at the Border Cafe 

I Look For You 

Three New Year’s 

Mostly, there are nightmares 

1/1 

reply to someone who no longer replies

 A Little Madness or Not at All

You Should Know

It Sunk : (the Titan submarine implosion)  

https://news.northeastern.edu/2023/06/23/oceangate-titan-submersible-implosion/

 Remember That Smile:  I remember, when I was a child, driving with my family while the trees on the side of the highway were ablaze. For years after that area looked like this, an image still stuck in my head

 

A Place Familiar 

The following lines can be recalled from the opening poem (page 9)

weeks later, at the farm/ we stayed at in Maryland,/ that was one of the good/  things from the year.

A Place Familiar describes the place. 

after David Berman II. Jeopardy question: Who is David Berman? A poet, musician and victim of a disease.  https://www.dallasobserver.com/music/the-world-lost-a-genius-2-years-ago-when-it-became-too-much-for-david-berman-12185442

Reflections: A 17 year-old Drug Addict Forty Years Later  Years https://www.oprah.com/spirit/confessions-of-a-shoplifter-reasons-people-steal/all Click the link and read why I might shoplift ginger root.

How to Extinguish a Raging Fire   Interested in this one? Go back in early November posts in this blog for the last 14 years about my recovery. This is a recovery poem. 

 reply to someone who said, “there’s a lot of selfish going around here.”  I write a lot of "reply" poems. There is one earlier in this book. In this one I don't remember who I might have been replying to. 

Tennessee Songbirds: True story about real birds and musicians in Nashville 

 

Not Just the Willows Weep https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/north-shore-communities-recovering-after-storm/3246270/

 Found in a Basement in Dorchester: Here's the obituary for my friend Sean. The obit left out a few things. Also, I found out about this too late to attend the funeral. 2022 was a rough year.  https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/name/sean-whelan-obituary?id=36927109

 

The Definition of Abuse is all about power dynamics in our culture. 

 

Poetry Found on Twitter These are exact twitter posts from the accounts of: 

1) Lauren Boebert—On Another Shooting. 2) Michelle Obama—On Knitting. 3) Melania Trump—On Christmas Ornaments being NFTs. 4) Marjorie Taylor Greene—Saying Stupid as Fuck Things 5) Amanda Knox—On Losing Control 6) Margaret Atwood—On New Year’s Day

There are some good guys and bad guys in this poem .

 Rainy Days and Every Day Always Get… My mom used to listen to this. Side note from video: I don't think he's playing the harmonica---he's playing his f-ing hand. 

 Valentine’s Poem written in the style of Eliz McKim. She picked  up that the poem sounded like a heartbeat. 

 Picturing One Great Love  Kind of like the guy pictured below, but sometimes you get to finish the work, and sometimes you don't. 

 

Flashbulb of a Lightning Storm. About making love in the middle of a lightning storm. It happened. 

 Into the Silent Sea: This was written about the same time as It Sunk. Processing sea-creatures and hopelessness. 

 

Amends I Owed You Step Nine in recovery https://sober.com/step-9-tips/ and using music as metaphor

Love – 0 When an electric tennis racket bug zapper is a swing and a miss

 

Addendum is and addendum to Amends I Owed You, but more punny and awkward (like some ammends)  than serious. 

 Acceptance Poem The Acceptance Prayer helps me a great deal

Fluid behind the Ear Poem dedicated to Lisa Haley (oh, the other Lisa)

 Animals Which Don’t Sleep Grief and sleep problems the following line within Instead of saying goodbye you said, /“I’m sorry,” and refuse to lie down

 Standing Wave  and

 Star Island, Night One, 2024 

These next two were written for and about Star Island. The second was nominated for a Pushcart. Star inspires as these didn't need much revision.

The final section of the book is lighter, perhaps funnier poems

Abecedarius  This is a form poem, the form being 26 words in the poem, using all 26 letters in alphabetical order. 

 Out and In the Void for Jeremy Hilary Boob Google Jeremy Hilary Boob and then the lyrics to that song the search points to. The poem is all synonyms to each/most words of those lyrics.

 Almost Famous Massachusetts has the record for total number of Roast Beef joints that are famous but in name only. 

 Literary Action Figures Imagine if famous authors had action figures like star athletes or GI Joe. Wait...maybe?

 

On Dodo Oh My God. Want to go on a heartwarming trip? Of course, you do. Careful, you may get sucked into The Dodo rabbit hole for half the day. So this poem looks at Dodo and how it differs from those other feelings in real life. 

 Poem About Jon Wesick, written in the style of Jon Wesick; During the pandemic, writer Jon Wesick was on nearly every zoom reading and open mic. He had a series writing in the style of some of the other poets. I decided to do one on him. 

 Recipe Dumb-Ass Men Cook to Feed Women : A misandry poem from a man noting how men are obvious and stupid in their manipulations. 

 Poem Stolen from Other Poets at Dinner Yes...it's a found poem staring the dialog of many of my friends. 

 Found poem within the rules of the board game Mystery Date : It pretty much uses the game rules verbatim. It was written for the game night event for the Improbable Places Poetry Tour.

 Petition to Remove the Word Burble from our language Such a harsh sounding word.

 

Things You Find in Miami Beach (Poetry Form: 25,000 Pyramid) So I've invented a form. The poem reads like the clues given in the bonus round of the 25,000 Pyramid game show. 

Lo Galluccio reviews "Almost Bluing for X-Tra Whiteness" for BSPPS and The Somerville Times (unabridged with the F word)

 Grateful to Lo Galluccio, Poet Populist of Cambridge, who wrote a wonderful review. Also, grateful to Doug Holder, poet, and Poetry Czar for publishing it in the Somerville Times and The Boston Area Small Press and Poetry Scene.. The Times is one of the area's leading print town newspapers, and Doug has been an editor there for over 25 years. Nice of him to sneak the F word into a local paper. The links above will bring you there, or just scroll on down to read it!

            Is the title ironic? Is it meant to mimic a toothpaste or detergent commercial? X-tra Whiteness suggests not race in this book, but some kind of gleam. Or maybe Gager is playing on the theme of whiteness, and even including race. After several readings, I’m still not sure but the title, it’s pop and its ambiguity, drew me to this collection, without a doubt.

The book’s divided into four sections, the first “Blue” contains poems most of which are elegiac poems to loss: the loss of a pure, true love, the death of his beloved father, its blue meaning bereft, blue as in the blues, to be blue, sad, as Nick Cave mentions in his lecture on love songs like the Portuguese word saudade. Here is tangible sorrow, even desolation, a sense that the world has broken apart into a void. In “Dependents” Gager posits that rescue when it comes, comes too late to save anybody. “Listen/smother me with a pillow/Don’t worry, no one will come/…/and when they finally come…it’ll be too late.” p. 11. In “After You Go” he writes: “we send to the sky our grief/when writing letters/to the deceased.” p 13. This affirms both the sense of futility and awe that accompanies a close relative or friend’s passing. Certainly, a testament to mortality and our inability to stop death. And later, “No one makes/our longings/into a song.” There seems no compensation, no silver lining to this black cloud. There is a nostalgic poem to three past New Year’s Eves with the lost partner, now gone: 2020, 2021 and 2022, where in a Cape Cod Airbnb it begins to drizzle, “right before the sky fell down.” p 17. Gager deftly deals in worldly concrete specifics, often juxtaposed with more abstract forces, nature, the sky. In 1/1 he insists that his love is “one of one” and that since they no longer converse, “…I no longer recite.” p 19. A sense of mute longing that is however, undercut by the playful, imaginative language with which Gager crafts these “blue” poems. They are, as he writes in “It Sunk” “…my best pieces, /wreckage after implosion.” p 23.

Part 2, is a shorter section entitled “X-tra-White.” It begins with a poem called, “Reflections: A 17 Year old Drug Addict 40 Years Later,” a meditation on getting clean and losing bad habits of addiction, a little shoplifting, badmouthing others which amount to an “empty echo of lunacy –” and the harsh violence or violated foundation “struck, strike, striking,/of permanence.” The addict recovers through an act of faith as God is summoned and gives one more chance, so the addict “started to clean.” p 29. This is an ode to recovery without going into the painful steps sobriety requires. In contrast, in a combative mood, there is indulgent excess that is a “reply to someone who said, there’s a lot of selfish going around here.” In response to this reprimand, the narrator licks sweet syrup and heaps on bacon, “sticking my tongue directly on/the sizzle of a steak.” When something is stolen from us sometimes our impulse is to steal more from the world, in a desperate and seemingly justifiable greed, “I’m waiting to eat more/of what the world owes me.” He wants, “More/Bring it/Some more.” p. 31. Dunno, is Gager suggesting that X-tra whiteness in\our society means, addiction/recovery/country music/abuse/death…some of the themes in this section. He ends this part with a “found” poem that takes excerpts from Twitter, In Their Own Words on NYE, 2022, drawing upon the tweets of female public personas that range from Michelle Obama (On Knitting) to Marjorie Taylor Greene (Saying Stupid as Fuck Things) to Margaret Atwood (On New Year’s Day)-- the kind of piece that gives us verifiable documentation of the way social media voices can scream at us for good or ill.

In Part 3, “Re(a)d” Gager moves into a more redemptive sequence of poems on matters of the heart. The first, title poem plays with the homophones, “red” and “read” and suggests that we read or interpret that bold valentine of love in a hypnotic, playful way. There is rhythmic music to it: “heart/red red/heart/red red/heart/red/heart/red.” p 44. Here is something almost primal about how fragile and trancelike a beating heart is. In “Picturing One Great Love” the poet pines to paint a portrait of the beloved and ends with the plea, “Can I finish one drawing/Please…just one?” p. 45 Longing can trick us with its endless myriad tugs, no matter how clearly we see and want the vanished love object to materialize. And there is also a coming to terms with the reality of not possessing-- the sanity of it-- by acknowledging our lack of control. In “Acceptance Poem” he pens an ode to serenity, a concept familiar to many recovered addicts (or members of 12 step programs of all kinds.) As he puts it: “A goal is to have no expectations/Please accept this distance/a gift, where serenity lives/as prospects crucified us.” p 51 Same as prey he suggests we survive with grace like birds, “hummingbirds, bluejays, sparrows and finches.” There is poignant beauty in the poem “Into the Silent Sea” where “the moon was not full today;/it was shaped like a heart,/seen from the bottom, light diffracted,/in a way that made you nauseous…/ that sickness that a state of isolation brings as he still feels “like an incredible ship/sunken and abandoned.” p 47. This section ends with a poem for which Gager was nominated for a Pushcart prize, a narrative poem about a visit to Star Island in 2024 that juxtaposes the calm beauty of a “white gull, blue water/the calmness of the completed” with the brutal excavation for a grave back home. The piece ends with a moment of seemingly perfect harmony though, a bird joining the choir by the sea, and the poet’s astonishment that “a piece of congruence, /swiftly the flash of/” could be real. “Damn, it can be,” he asserts.

The final section, “Blu-ing, as distinct from the first section, “Blue,” is where the poet takes on other themes, objects, even humor. It’s as if “Blu-ing” were the poet’s ability to compensate for or distract from the underlying grief by looking at the world with some jauntiness and resilience. It begins with “Abecedarius,” in compressed form, a poem whose lines copy the sequence of the alphabet. Only this one is just seven lines, that run from letters A to X, a lovely mysterious piece that lives “under voracious waters,/xeric, your zone.” Someone, and I forget who, said that a few poems should contain exotic or unfamiliar words, so I looked up “xeric,” and it means arid. With the big currents turned back, the poet is dwelling in a paradoxically safe, dry space, under a deluge. The poems “Almost Famous” and “Literary Action Figures” give us some comical relief; the first about how Boston’s so called famous eating joints are actually not known outside of the locale and the second is a look back to childhood toys and a sibling spat about a Barbie whose hair is pulled out, and a “Bukowski doll” and the favorite, a Kurt Vonnegut figure, who defies his sick sister’s destructive tendencies. Real or fictional it gives some insight into the writer’s psychic literary pantheon. In “Recipe Dumb-Ass Men Use to Cook Women” Gager catalogues the obnoxious ways men can turn off women in their ego-centric stupidity, including lying and “proclaiming distaste toward/ the dirty bourgeoise./ p. 69. A simple fave of mine is the closing poem, a list poem called, “Things You Find in Miami Beach,” that includes “a hairless cat” and “Hot as fuck/white/sand.” In the end, he leaves us with a slice of the world, an ode to escape on a popular Florida beach.

This is a marvelously composed collection that includes both the sacred and the profane. It’s about love, loss, mortality, addiction, recovery and survival and it’s both a good time read and enlightening literature about the state of our humanity. From the particle of deep loss to a wider field of understanding and acceptance, Gager takes us on a carefully executed poetic journey that leaves us wiser and well sated. I’ve frankly missed out on a lot of Tim’s fiction work, but I’m very happy to have found this, his latest offering. I feel both alive and awakened by it.